REWE jail

CRÓ vs Sekt Sheriff.

Imagine this. Imagine you and your best friend go to a supermarket with the mission of getting 1.99 bubbles for your International Women’s Day brunch on Saturday. It’s a beautiful spring day. The sun is out and it is warm, there is not a cloud in the sky except the moon, which yeah is not a cloud. You go to your favourite supermarket REWE. You attempt to use the “scan and go” machines on your few bits and the sekt. When you get to the self scan machines you are told that the “scan and go” didn’t work, so you scan everything individually.

Imagine this. Imagine a big security guard coming over to you while you’re packing up your things to check your receipt.

Imagine you haven’t even left the till never mind the premises.

You had been in a different supermarket before and picked up bits, so you produce the receipt for that, thinking this is why he was coming over.

Imagine this. You ACCIDENTALLY don’t scan one of your bottles of sekt (bubbles). A completely honest mistake. This is all happening in a language you’re not fluent in so things get lost in translation, and are completely surprised there are only 4 bottles scanned. Obviously you didn’t intend on robbing a 1.99 bottle and offer to pay for the bottle now. Again, you’re right beside the till, and haven’t packed things away yet. You understand he wants the two of you to follow him into the office.

Imagine this. One of the two people is dressed like a holistic wellness coach and the other like a golfer.

Imagine this. Imagine you, shocked and confused, are looking at him while he shouts at you and then proceeds to mock the way you’re looking. We try to explain that we were using the scan and go machines and he would be able to see we scanned that 5 times, that it was a mistake. We thought all the bottles had been scanned. He explains he had been watching the two of you and that you were shoplifters and that you committed a crime. He repeats himself multiple times and we try and explain it wasn’t intentional. He speaks over us, and he mocks the way we are trying to speak German.

Now, it’s one thing if you make a mistake and there’s no budging with the consequences. Someone who doesn’t make the rules but enforces them. Firm but fair. That I can cope with even if it were incredibly frustrating and seemed unfair. It’s another thing when you’re then shouted at and ridiculed.

Imagine this. He is intimidating you and making you feel smaller than a 1.99 bottle of sekt. Either we pay him €100 cash now or he files the report for the police. Soon after this changes then to €100 each. We obviously don’t have that money on us and everything seems to be happening so quickly. There is one REWE staff member who is kind and translating things into English for us, explaining he is very strict with these things. While the Sekt Sheriff goes to the next room to file the police report, we naturally go to reddit for legal advice. We find that because it is such a small amount that was “stolen” it shouldn’t be a big deal, or might not even be put through.

He comes back into the room like a tormented bull. It all seems a little bit over the top. He advises us to pay now or we will be getting a bill of over €300 in the post.

Imagine this. He hands us a 1 year ban from all REWE stores nationwide, printed in five languages.

Imagine this. He also wants us to sign a paper, but actually doesn’t let us see it. We ask for a copy. He denies. “Datenschutz”. ?

At this point we are confused, shaking and very hungry. It seems all of the staff members are taking their lunch at the same time to watch us be humiliated. You are looking on your phone for more “legal advice” as you don’t know your rights in this country, and he starts roaring at you that he’s right there and to speak to him please, even though when you try and speak he just repeats that you’re a thief. You ask each other if you should call the police as this whole situation is completely over the top. This riles him up to start shouting louder. He’s calling the police right now actually is that what you want? You want him to call the police then let’s call the police! Completely overstimulated, you try and communicate with the appointed translator. He says if you sign these papers, maybe the police will drop the case as it’s such a small amount.

Imagine this! When you’re discussing about calling the police he is rolling his eyes at the staff and sticking out his tongue, pacing the floor and shouting over at you to hurry up. Taunting you and acting as if you are the stupidest people he’s ever met in his life. You have to actually ask him to stop behaving like that because it’s stressful and distracting. You reflect for a second that he would not be behaving this way if you were men.

Imagine this. You decide to sign fucking official papers without properly reading them or translating them, because you are frightened and tired at this point, and when you try to read them or take a picture of them he takes them away.

You are escorted out of the supermarket by the translator who was the only kind person in the room, who offered any sympathy. He wishes you a nice day. The sun is still out but you’re both crying behind sunglasses from frustration and anger at being taken advantage of because we don’t speak his language. Being taken advantage of because we were women who were dressed silly and don’t know their rights.

Reeling from the violent and unnecessarily aggressive situation we experienced, we now wait for the €140-170 fine to come in the post. Each. In the meantime, we will frame the REWE ban. We should have called the police. We should have spoken German. We shouldn’t have been women. We shouldn’t have left without the last bottle of sekt.

Happy International Women’s Day!

Thanks for reading xxx